With the rank up exam safely complete, I’m now a B rank.
That extends what I can do in the area around Minerva a lot, and I can accept almost any quest.
“Congratulations! Now we’re finally the same rank!”
Says Lela, as I take the B rank certificate from the reception desk.
Mars is with her, and also has a smile on his face.
“You actually went up to B rank in less than a year, uh? We need to get on it too, Lela.”
“Yes. We can’t let our junior here surpass us.”
“Thanks you two. I’m feeling good because of my promotion, so it’s my treat today.”
“Really!? How generous! Loyd number one!”
“Hey hey, Lela. We should be the one treating him.”
“Eh… It’s fine. If he says he wants to pay, we should just accept it and not complain.”
“Good grief… Well then sensei, it’s your treat today.”
Mars is exasperated by Lela, but accepts.
They’re always looking after me, so I’m always thinking about making up some sort of excuse to treat them to a meal.
Whether it’s because they’re friends close to me in age, or experienced people who can give me advice, if it wasn’t for them, my life as an adventurer wouldn’t be going as smoothly.
Part of why working as an adventurer is so fun for me is that I get to casually chat with them like this.
We talk about it, and decide to have lunch in Nero’s place.
The reason is very simple. It’s good food at a reasonable price.
When we go in, we’re greeted by a maid as always.
“Welcome nya.”
“Nya!”
Lela greets the maid back with an excited tone. Mars and I just nod.
I’m still not used to being served by maids. I think my embarrassment gets the better of me.
A maid takes us to a table, and Nero just happens to peek out of the kitchen, so he sees us.
“Ooh, it’s you. You’re not with Iris today?”
“Iris is working with the church again.”
“She sure works hard. But more importantly, you came just at the right time.”
Says Nero with a smile while crossing his arms.
“Eh? Did something happen?”
Asks Mars with a friendly tone, while turning both himself and the chair to Nero.
“Autumn is almost here, so I was thinking about making a limited autumn-like menu. And I want you three to help test it. Since you’re helping me, it will be free.”
“Free! My favorite word!”
But there’s nothing more expensive than free.
“By the way, what do you mean by autumn-like?”
“Stuff like ice-cold bloody melon juice sounds tasty.”
Says Lela.
“What’s autumn-like about that?”
“That’s for summer.”
I say, and Mars adds to it.
“Then bloody melon shaved ice.”
“Are you even listening?”
“You’re just saying what you want to have because it’s free.”
“You two suggest something then.”
“What about potatoes?”
“Potato flavored Merzelia pie is pretty good.”
“It’s mister potato. If you think they’re that tasty, give them the proper respect.”
“Why are you mad at us now?”
“You three really are always in sync. I was thinking about trying extremely spicy food this time.”
“““No way, why?”””
The three of us say in unison.
We’re thinking about food that matches the season, so how does extremely spicy food fit in there?
Even if you say it’s because it warms the body, that would make it better for winter.
There’s still lingering heat from the summer, so I think spicy food doesn’t work well with that.
Everyone’s confused by this choice. It was like this before this became a maid cafe too, but Nero’s sense might be a little off compared to other people.
“Why do you want to try extremely spicy food?”
“Because I got a lot of red habaneros, and I want to use them to make something interesting.”
Red habaneros are vegetables often gathered in the whole of Merzelia.
As the name suggests, they’re red. They’re also very popular as a flavoring, and very spicy if you bite into one.
“Eh… So that’s why… But you know spicy food chooses people, not the other way around?”
“That’s fine. I plan to make different levels of spiciness that people can pick.”
He shows us the menu, where there is a level one, level two, level three, level one hundred, and level five thousand of spiciness.
“Hum, why does the spiciness level balloon like that? Did monsters from Area Zero attack?”
“I feel like level five thousand wouldn’t even be food anymore…”
“Don’t worry, I’m a former chef from the Holy Kingdom of Roland.”
“I feel like this is very much not holy.”
“By the way Loyd, did you know about this? I heard that lately public order in Roland has been getting worse. More vicious monsters than ever before are appearing there.”
“Really? Don’t they have a new saintess?”
“Supposedly, but apparently there’s all sorts of dodgy things going on.”
“Hm…”
“Hey hey, you two. Talk about my menu, not the new saintess.”
Nero doesn’t care about the new saintess, and keeps talking up spicy food.
That gets Roland out of our minds too, as we focus on Nero’s menu.
“I’ll have level two then.”
I pick a safe level. It’s not like I don’t like spicy food, but I’m not trying to test my limits. Normal is best.
“I’m not good with spicy food, so I’ll have level one.”
Mars picks the lowest option.
I’m surprised. I thought he’d love spicy food.
“When I was young, I accidentally bit into a red habanero a merchant I knew got, and I’ve been bad with spicy food ever since.”
He explains with an awkward smile.
“Good grief, you babies. I’ll have the level five thousand.”
“You shouldn’t.”
“You’ll die for sure.”
“By the way, you need to sign a written agreement before eating the level five thousand.”
Agreement!? We’re all shocked when we hear that, but he brings it from the back of the cafe.
It says the cafe is not responsible for anything that might happen.
That’s not something people should see before they eat!
“Hey hey, are you really sure about this? Don’t complain after it’s too late.”
“It’s fine.”
She says while laughing.
Fifteen minutes later, our food gets to our table.
It’s derivative of curry. There’s red roux in a silver sauce pot, that’s then put on flat bread and eaten that way.
But what really catches my eye is when Lela’s curry is brought to the table by a maid wearing a full face mask.
“Cough, cough.”
I can hear her breathing from here.
“The curry is bright red.”
“It has a lethal amount of red habanero.”
“What did she just say?”
“Don’t play with food.”
“The maid is wearing a creepy gas mask too. This is definitely dangerous.”
“There’s no definitely when it comes to food.”
“Don’t say that like it’s a wise saying. I’m saying that to you,”
“I get your concern, but don’t worry. I am a former forest guardian. A super elite elf. Red habanero is nothing compared to fierce red boar.”
She says with complete confidence, as she scoops some with her spoon, and brings it to her mouth.
But the next moment, she grabs her throat, and falls from her chair.
“T-too shpishyyyyyyyyyyyy!”
“L-Lela!?”
◆ ◆ ◆
This unsightly scene from Lela goes on for a while, so please enjoy Iris’ play until she puts herself together.
“Everyone gather ’round! Iris theater is starting.”
“Waaaaah!” (Voice from mysterious audience.)
“Today, I will be doing the Iris switch you all love.
You switch parts of my name, and I react. Let’s start with the first letter, I!”
““““Iris switch I!”””” (Voice from mysterious audience.)
“Ah, geez, I’m really mad when I’m mad! Hmph hmph!”
““““Cute!””””
“Next, Iris switch R.”
““““Iris switch R!”””” (Voice from mysterious audience.)
“Iris up to the right.”
““““I don’t get it but cute!””””
“Iris switch I.”
““““Iris switch I!”””” (Voice from mysterious audience.)
“My lady, are you perhaps a little tired?”
“I am not, Till. Lastly, Iris switch S!”
“I like you! I love you! Love love love! Like, like love like! Ski! Ski! Ah, it’s almost winder, ski season! I like love to ski!”
““““Ah?”””” (Voice from mysterious audience.)
Iris theater is over.
◆ ◆ ◆
The spiciness has completely sunk Lela. She’s now being tended to by a maid with tears in her eyes.
She’s licking ice cream brought by the maid to recover, and looks like she regrets her easygoing attitude towards the extremely spicy food.
“Uuu, that was awful. My tongue is still stinging.”
“We warned you…”
Says Mars with an awkward smile.
“So what do we do with the curry? Leaving the whole thing uneaten is rude to the chef.”
“Let’s work together to eat at least half.”
“It looks like it’s really spicy, so let’s have some milk too.”
Yes, milk should mitigate the spiciness.
I’m no expert, so don’t ask me how it works, but milk goes really well with extremely spicy food.
This plus my Protection magic, means we should be able to have this assassin tier spicy curry with no problem.
I cast Protection and start eating, but start coughing violently.
“S-sensei!? Are you all right!? You were all ready for the spiciness…!”
“Cough cough. This curry is dangerous. It went right through my Protection.”
“Eeh!?”
“Kukuku, it’s no use, Loyd. Weak defensive magic won’t stand a chance against level five thousand curry. Give up, and have your throat burned.”
“Should I work with the Minefort family to have this place shut down?”
“It’s too soon to give up. I am still here!”
Suddenly, we hear an echoing female voice.
I turn around, and see Vermeer standing by the entrance.
“V-Vermeer!? Why are you here?”
“Extremely spicy food calls for a Kaleid mermaid. A Kaleid mermaid calls for extremely spicy food. That is common knowledge where I come from.”
“Excuse me, but that didn’t answer the question.”
“By the way Vermeer, how has Queen Undine been?”
Asks Mars.
“I sent in my letter of resignation the other day, so I have no idea what she’s like now.”
“Eh?”
“Nero, correct? I can easily defeat this curry.”
“That try-color outfit. You’re one of those Kaleid mermaids. Bring it on!”
“No, hum…”
“I can’t focus on this conversation after hearing that bombshell.”
Why did this knight captain quit?
Mars and I are baffled, while Vermeer sits where Lela was sitting.
She picks up a spoon, and starts having the curry.
The food that brought Lela down with one mouthful is now being eaten by someone who doesn’t look at all bothered.
“W-wow! It’s like the spiciness doesn’t phase her. Aren’t the habanero hot!?”
“All mermaids take zero damage from fire.”
“Habanero has the fire element?”
“That’s probably a piece of knowledge I’m never using.”
“Thank you for the food.”
“That was fast!? You’re done!?”
Vermeer finished it quickly, and is now gulping down tea.
I don’t think that took a minute.
“N-no way!? My level five thousand curry lost!? It can’t beeeeeee!”
Nero holds his head as he screams.
Thank goodness, evil has been vanquished.
“Thank you for avenging Lela, Vermeer!”
“You’re so cool!”
Say Mars and Lela, and the maids also applaud.
“And to answer your question from earlier, I am here to see the master swordswoman Sephilia.”
“So is that why you’re in Minerva?”
“Yes. I have actually wanted to face her since the first time I met her.”
“I see. Sephilia’s really strong.”
Mars agrees. He also faced her before, and was completely helpless.
So Vermeer is here because she wants to have a match with Sephilia.
That’s a fighter for you.
“What are you doing now? Are you unemployed?”
Asks Lela. She’s stepping in pretty deep.
Well, it’s not like I’m not also curious.
“I am looking for a job that respects my work and private life balance by having two days off every week and no overtime.”
“Sounds very appropriate.”
“Why not become an adventurer like me?”
“Begone.”
She says with a low tone.
“Scary.”
“That’s no good, sensei! Society in general sees being an adventurer as the worst black job around. Don’t tempt poor Vermeer into falling into that path!”
“That’s right, Loyd! What do you think adventurers are!?”
“I see. So you two are terrible people for dragging me into it.”
“Your vocational questionnaire was just that bad.”
“What job were we supposed to suggest?”
“I guess.”
They have a point.
“It took a long time to get here, and I am not quite satisfied. Do you have sweets here?”
“Of course! This is our menu.”
One of the maids presents a menu to Vermeer.
“We should have something too.”
“Yes. Excuse us, we want menus too.”
“Yes.”
Mars casually includes me too. A handsome guy that’s also considerate is the strongest.
But we haven’t had our curry yet, so we’re not going to have sweets until after that.
Then we have fun eating and talking with Vermeer.
I wasn’t expecting her to quit like that. It came completely out of nowhere.
I don’t know if I can be helpful here, but I want to help her if she has any problems.
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