The stuff I ordered is delivered to pops’ place, just like my mail. Apparently Aikawa has his taken to the foot of his mountain. Come to think of it, there’s a mailbox close to his fence. People making deliveries are used to it too, and call him before they arrive, so he he usually goes down to the fence to receive his things.
Getting stuff needed on a mountain delivered straight to the mountain does sound handy. I should probably get that set up soon too, but not now.
I think I actually got hurt worse than I thought. My marriage wasn’t too far on the horizon. Back where I lived, everyone knew who lived where, and in my company, everyone knew who was getting married. And I couldn’t bear the eyes pointing at me after she left me.
And her? Of course I liked her. I even saw a future where we had kids after getting married, and had our own family.
She said she wanted to study abroad for a short time before getting married, so we agreed that she would go for a month. But she didn’t come back. She said she wanted to stay there, that her world was too narrow, and she wanted to attend a university abroad more than getting married.
“Ah, I can’t keep doing this…”
“Can’tkeepdoingthis.”
“Can’tkeepdoingthis.”
“Can’tkeepdoingthis.”
Thanks for the choir.
I laugh without thinking. My chickens are such a big help for me. And Yuma even gets close and starts cuddling me.
“Thanks everyone.”
I hug Yuma, and see it’s really gotten big.
Since it was their daughter who canceled our marriage, it seemed like her parents felt really bad about it, and gave me a considerable sum in reparations. I think the idea was for me to just pretend the whole thing never happened.
But since I met her in my former workplace, I couldn’t keep working there. And so, I made a hasty decision to buy mountains, but I’m glad it led to me meeting my chickens.
Ah, I feel myself getting a little sick.
I really can’t keep doing this, so I turn off the light, and go to sleep. The total darkness soothes my heart.
Katsuragi and Aikawa have been hurt too. And while I’m not as bad as them, I’ve been hurt just the same. But this is just my pain, and I can’t share it with anyone. I’m sure the same goes for them. It’s not something that should be compared with other people’s, so I just hope my pain and theirs goes away soon.
◇ ◇ ◇
I get a little nervous when I contact Katsuragi through Line.
I always feel like I can’t write something I shouldn’t, or that if I write a bit too much I’m being annoying.
The other day, when I was coming back from pops’ place, I bumped into the lady that knows Katsuragi, Yamanaka. She asked how things have been going with me and Katsuragi lately, and when I told her that we just talk through Line, she said I should pay more attention to her.
She’s worried about Katsuragi. All I could do was smile vaguely. Honestly, I still can’t bring myself to get involved with young women. Aikawa said the same too. That doesn’t mean I’m interested in men though. Definitely not.
“The rainy season is almost here. How have you been lately?”
I send her a message on Line about the weather, and sigh. I’m not really expecting a response, so I put my phone back in my pocket.
There’s also a road leading to the top of my mountain. Apparently people used to live there too, but only a couple of households.
After five minutes of driving up, I reach a somewhat open area, and it stops. I’ve heard that people living here went down to the village five years ago, and around the time I moved here, the weather beaten houses were dismantled.
But there are still graves of people who lived here for a long time. Some took remains to the village or the town, but not ancestral remains. A lot of people are still resting here out of necessity. People from the village will contact me when they want to visit graves, but so far, only the former head of the village has done that. Maybe more people will come by in autumn. Or maybe no one will come.
I clean the graves, pull weeds, and leave flowers and water. The flowers are pretty ones I picked here on the mountain.
I put my hands together in prayer, wishing for them to sleep easy, and for them to watch over me, so I can continue living here peacefully with my chickens.
These people are my respected predecessors, not gods, but I’m sure I can get away with just one prayer.
There are a lot of trees around here. If it weren’t for them, I could see the village, but I can’t see anything. I think they picked this place for the graves because it overlooks the village, so would they be happy if I cut the trees down so they can see?
But first, I have to look after the road. I have to start from the top, or it might ruin what I did below. I feel weary, because there’s so much to do.
My chickens are running around like usual, full of energy. Share some of that with me.
Then Pochi approaches me.
“Another pit viper…”
It’s in Pochi’s beak. Seriously, there are so many on this mountain.
I don’t have any plastic bottles with me, so I say ‘go ahead and eat it’. I don’t want to go back and get one.
And then the three chickens really go at it as they eat it, so I step away. I’m getting used to it, but I still don’t want to see it.
Then I think to check my phone, and see Katsuragi replied.
“Hello, I’m doing well, thanks to your help. I have a lot of green peas, so how about having lunch together?”
I stop for a moment.
…She’s probably just feeling lonely, that’s all.
“I will visit at a time that is convenient to you. When should I do so?”
I send back, as I think that was way too diplomatic, and sweat runs down my back. But she immediately tells me the days that are convenient to her, so I breathe a sigh of relief.
“Pochi, Tama, Yuma… How do I talk to girls?”
Yuma comes trotting towards me… And cuddles against me, as the other two stare, and then turn their heads. You’re gonna make me cry.
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