We decide to prepare carefully, and go face the monster only after we’re done. I have to prepare as much as possible, because if we lose, it will probably lead to losing everyone. No, more than probably.
…Mister Dongu was surprised when I told him I might be the miko, but I think he accepts it. I think me being the miko explains a lot of things.
It’s said that everything goes well for the miko, and everything works out, but the miko is a person, and that’s not how people’s lives work.
About mister Athos’ death, he says ‘In a way, it’s a miracle that only one person died, I was honestly expecting it to be worse. Everyone else managed to safely escape, so there’s no reason to think that any of this is your fault’.
Everyone… All of them… Just thinking about it makes my body tremble.
Mister Dongu’s attitude doesn’t change after I tell him I’m probably the miko. He doesn’t tell me to go to a dangerous position or anything, but I wouldn’t mind doing it if it helped everyone.
But when I tell him that, he says I don’t have to do it.
Because I’m still a child, is what I’m told.
It’s true, I’m still a kid, and I’m not strong enough for people that are important to me to rely on me. If I was, I would be way more helpful at a time like this.
For now, I want to use more magic, so I’ve been using this time to learn from the elves.
I’ve been learning about earth magic from mister Sileva, but I can’t do it very well.
I want to be better at using magic… If we can do something about that monster… No, we’ll get through it somehow, I’m sure. And I have to learn magic so I’m ready next time something like this happens. I want to be able to fight.
For now, I think it’s going to be difficult to improve my magic in the time we have.
I’m not very good, and even if I’m the miko, I don’t know what kind of powers the miko has in the first place.
Miss Lan says I’m still a child, and it’s alright for me to learn little by little, but I still want more. I know I shouldn’t be impatient, but I feel powerless every time I think about that.
“…Let’s do our best, Gaius.”
“Yes.”
“I don’t want, anyone to die.”
I don’t want a single person to die. I don’t want to lose anyone. The pain of losing mister Athos is never going to go away, and I don’t want to lose someone important again.
That’s why I made a vow with Gaius.
I want to make a place where everyone can laugh, and to reach this almost impossible goal, I don’t want to lose anyone.
Gaius and I made that vow before we met the elves, but I want to include the elves in that ‘everyone’.
It’s not just for me or for Gaius and I, I want to make a place where everyone can smile, and I don’t want to leave anyone out, even though I know it’s going to be very difficult, or maybe it’s even too good to be true.
But to achieve this goal of not leaving anyone out, neither Gaius or I are strong enough yet.
“…I don’t want, anyone to die.”
“Yes… No one has to die.”
I want to be strong enough to say I won’t let anyone die, but I’m not. I grip my fist tight.
Just thinking about fighting a monster makes me tremble.
I’m used to the idea of monsters because I spend so much time with the gryphons and Scifo, but I’ve never been face to face with a monster that’s an enemy.
“Gaius… You’ve hunted before, right?”
“Yes, but I’ve never fought an intelligent monster, and I’m scared because even the elves couldn’t beat this one…”
“Yes…”
“But we have to win. We’ll never make our dream come true if we don’t.”
“Yes…”
Everyone has to be here if we’re going to make a place where everyone can smile.
I’m not strong enough, so all I can do is stay back and help, but I’m still going to fight with them.
It will all be for nothing if we lose. We have to win.
I get excited about winning, as we stand side-by-side and talk.
And then, the day finally arrives.
—Girl and the path to defeating a monster – part five
(The girl that is probably the miko laments her lack of power, and thinks about how her vow includes everyone, including beast people and elves. The day where they face the monster is right around the corner.)
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time to rip some weed